Potty Training Boys

Yes, it may take boys longer to potty train than girls. Although no one seems to know just why. Some believe that boys are not physiologically ready as quickly as girls. Others believe that boys lag behind girls in their psychological development. The difference may be at partially due to the fact that moms tend to be the primary potty-trainers in a family. Boys without a male role model to imitate in the bathroom may take a little longer to get the idea, while girls have the advantage of observing someone with the same equipment.

Another reason boys tend to need more time that girls - even if Dad is involved - might be that for them learning to pee in a potty is a two-step process. First they learn to do it sitting down, and then they have to master standing up.

Remember that each child is different and potty training readiness is determined by his own social, psychological and physical development. If your son takes longer to potty train than girls his age, that's okay. Just be sure to watch for the signs of readiness and go from there.

Most parents would agree that potty training your toddler son includes not only teaching him to urinate in a potty or toilet, but also to make bowel movements in the potty or toilet.  And for bowel movement training, you will have to teach your toddler son to sit down on a potty or the toilet.

So, then if you decide to teach your son to pee standing up, you will have to teach him to have a bowel movement sitting down - that means teaching your son two different things.  This can get confusing for a toddler.

Many parents are asking the same question - they all want to know whether to start potty training boys to urinate standing up or sitting down.

While there is definitely no right or wrong way to potty train a boy, most potty training experts will recommend that toddler boys should be potty trained sitting down.

The major reason for this recommendation is to keep things simple by teaching them to sit for both urination and bowel movements.  Other reasons include to the logistics involved in managing the equipment for both types of training and the effort required to clean up while they learn to aim properly.

Take a look at the potty training process in detail from the child's perspective.  It starts with body awareness and the ability to associate a feeling of fullness with the need to eliminate and the result i.e. a BM or urination.  This awareness starts at about age 1 and until now (for the last 1-2 years), when your child has this feeling, he simply goes ahead and eliminates in his diaper or pull-ups.  Now you want him to learn that when he has this feeling he has to stop and find his way to the potty.  Then he has to remove his clothing and then sit or stand on the potty depending on which feeling he has and then eliminate.

So, from your child's perspective you are already asking him to do a lot - and by trying to teach your child to stand while urinating and sit while having a bowel movement, you are asking him to only learn and identify the feeling of fullness, but to differentiate the two feelings and make a decision to sit or stand.

Since bowel movements and urine often come at the same time, it makes sense - at least initially - to have your son sit for both so he learns that both belong in the potty.  This will also keep him from getting distracted by the fun of spraying when you need him to focus on just mastering the basic procedure.

Always remember that different techniques work for different children.  Some boys jump right into imitating brothers, fathers, or uncles and urinate standing up.

When your son has mastered the potty in a sitting position successfully and confidently, he can try urinating standing up.  If possible, he should be guided by a male role model.  Grandpa, dad, brother, or uncle can all provide great examples for your son.  Have your son watch the adult urinate in a standing position and then let your son give it a try in his potty chair - on his own or next to the big guy at the big toilet.

If your son seems reluctant, try floating a few pieces of O-shaped cereal or other small, flushable targets in the toilet bowl.  You may want to make a game out of it.  Even ripped up pieces of toilet paper will turn into potty targets.  Also, blue toilet bowl water will turn green when mixed with yellow.  Your little guy might be motivated to see the color modify in the potty! 

You can expect to clean up a few messes as your son perfects his aim.  Remember to give positive encouragement any time he tries to get his stream in the toilet.

What will you consider - a potty chair, a urinal (the Peter Potty is great) or the toilet potty seat? Which one for which? A potty is a little low to the ground to for urination from the standing position. A urinal for pee and a potty for bowel movements? Maybe the toilet for both?

There are many choices of equipment out there. Potty seats come in all shapes and sizes. If your son is agile and loves to climb, he may enjoy a toilet seat topper that he can climb up onto using a stool. If he is more timid, his own potty seat movement on the floor will work best. Choose a potty seat with a removable urine guard. Guards can help prevent messy sprays of urine but may also irritate your son's penis. If he shows any signs of hurt due to the urine guard, remove it. You don't want his potty training experience to be painful. Also have some boy centralized potty training books and videos on hand. The books are fun to look at with your son while he is using the potty. For an extra incentive, try using a potty training chart. Every time your little guy uses the potty, let him put a sticker on his chart or color in a space. He'll have a blast being apart in this potty training activity.

Finally, have fun with your son!  Make potty training enjoyable.  Have fun spending time with your son reading potty books, watching potty videos, and working on a potty chart.  Give lots of good feedback.  Kids will continue to participate in fun, positive activities.  If it becomes a power struggle or you encounter yourself becoming frustrated, take some time out and reassess whether it's the best time to potty train.

Make sure your childcare provider or preschool teacher uses potty training techniques consistent with your own.  Some daycares insist on teaching boys to urinate standing and so make sure that both of you are teaching him the same thing.  You can send your potty training chart with your child daily so the daytime care provider can also reward potty training behaviors.